Dear Covid,

I hate you.  I don’t use that word a lot, almost never.  I hate very little in this life.  The word “moist” is among those things….so you see, it’s pretty serious that I use it here when talking about my feelings for you.

First and foremost, you kill people…so that makes you gross, disgusting, despicable and makes we want you to go away forever and ever.

Secondly, you brought with you fear…like real, unadulterated fear.  People were afraid to leave their homes terrified they’d be asymptomatic and infect someone they love that was high risk.  People were afraid they themselves would get you.  You suck.  Making people scared isn’t ok.  This fear you brought, aside from the fact that it’s very real, it’s permanent.  It’s impacting everything.  More on this later.

You took our school year from us.  Instead of being in a classroom with our students (as a teacher) or our friends (as a student) we had to meet up on a computer screen…and that, simply wasn’t the same.  No more pep assemblies, spring sports, field days, chatting in the lunch room, talking to our best friend as we walked down the hall…all of that gone in an instant.  So for that…you are the worst.

You also took church from us.  I cannot go to mass and sit with my family and take in the mass and receive the Eucharist.  Instead, we now watch mass on a computer (“Puter church” as Fletcher calls it).  I have to tell you, it’s not the same…not even close.  This weekend we will celebrate our daughters First Communion in the church but without her siblings or grandparents and we will all be asked to wear masks.  So again, you really, really suck.

You took sports from us.  All of them.  That makes me feel so many emotions I can’t type them all out.  You took my first ever boys volleyball season from my players and me.  We had only been able to gather to learn this game I love with my whole heart a few times.  You took that from all of us. You cost many people I care about an opportunity to compete, to win state championships, even national collegiate championships and I won’t ever forget that you did this.  So for that, I strongly dislike you.

You also took sports away from the entire nation, not just the ones playing them…but also for the people who watch them for enjoyment (that includes me too).  No March Madness was beyond bizarre.  No summer baseball…just weird.

My kids aren’t playing organized sports for the first time in as long as I can remember.  Their spring track and field, soccer and baseball seasons stripped from them.  Their Sunday morning basketball practices…over.  The miss seeing their friends and playing organized sports.  The fact that my boys ask me everyday when they will get to play baseball and I know the answer is not this year makes me heart hurt.  Their team fell apart because of Covid and we haven’t been able to find them another one.  You did that.  I don’t like you…at all.

Also, you have ruined making plans.  Plans are no longer a thing. We can’t plan a vacation, we can’t plan on what the school year will look like in the fall because we don’t know and we can’t know for sure our fall sports season are going to take place.  For a planner, like myself, that makes me hate you even more.  The not knowing what the future is going to be is very stressful and can wear a person down.  So, thanks for that.

You’ve made people angry and rude.  When I do my weekly run to the store I can’t get over how rude people are to the essential workers in these places.  It’s apparently very hard for some people to follow the guidelines on how to stay 6 feet apart and when asked to observe them they snap at people.  I’m going to blame this one on you too.

You have made everyone feel confused…or perhaps I should blame this one on the 24-hour news cycle, but without you, they wouldn’t have to tell us something different every day.  One week we hear wearing masks does nothing, the next week we hear they are very effective.  I get it, this is unchartered territory…we are learning as we go, but please, can we get some facts.  In particular the cold hard ones so we can figure out how to behave and what will best keep everyone safe? Thanks, that’d be great.

You have divided people.  Some people think everyone should wear masks, others do not.  Some people thought this whole thing was a total hoax and we should never have been ordered to stay at home…others believed with their entire personhood that it was the right call.  Everyone is pointing fingers at politicians for making bad decisions, being “stupid” or being paranoid enough to do something as unprecedented as make people stay at home.  This isn’t helpful.  We are divided enough as a nation, we really didn’t need your help with that, so please, please, go away.  I beg you.

I feel like I could go on all day about how vile you are.  But that’s not really what my writing is about.

Now that I got that off my chest I want to tell you what you can never take away…my hope and positive spirit.

I have to admit; you’ve got me a little down in the dumps this week. I woke up today and felt the ugliness that only you can bring.  But some sports, home improvement, family time and a little music brought be back to reality.

I’ve been on three different calls about just the return to sport and all of them were equally depressing.  I felt you in those conversations tugging at my hope for a normal start to the school year and a normal start to sports with fans in the stands disappearing.

But…I refuse to let you take that from us too.

I will remain hopeful that all the brilliant doctors, researchers and scientists working tirelessly will find a cure or a vaccine.

I will remain hopeful that the Health departments and local, state, and federal government officials will make decisions in everyone’s best interest.

I remain thankful that even though you suck in a major way, you haven’t taken away my family.  In fact, you have given it back to me and many others in a way that we didn’t anticipate.  We now enjoy long walks and bike rides, we eat every single meal together instead of many in our car out of cooler, cooking as a family is now a thing, our kids do the dishes after every single meal, we get the joy of taking care of a new and gregarious puppy as a family, we’ve hours of fun together playing sports, more time playing board games and regular movie nights.  So…YOU. DON’T. WIN.

I remain thankful that you cannot take from us the fact that even though we were told to stay at home, you forced me to be with my favorite people 24 hours a day.  So I’ll say that I’m grateful to you for that, even though I strongly dislike you.

I remain thankful that you allowed me time to interview my mom about her crazy childhood so that one day I may write the book on how she survived the impossible and became the strongest person I have ever known.

I remain thankful that you taught all of us teachers, students and athletes to really appreciate each school day, each practice because we really know now that it could be the last (at least for the foreseeable future).

So while I hate you, I also have love for you, because you haven’t been all bad.  My mom always told me that with the bad…there is always good.  She was right.  Somehow, she’s always right.

Nevertheless, regardless of how badly you stink…I will remain hopeful, that you cannot ever take from me my HOPE…EVER…because that’s all I know how to do.

To quote one of my favorite movies of all time “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies!”  Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption

Celebrating 40+ awesome years with my one and only sister. I’m so grateful. 

Happy birthday Aunt Jenny and Daddy and his new girlfriend…GiGi the dog.  She’s definitely a Daddy’s girl!

2 v 2 family basketball game with the family and our nephew Willie today.  There were a few emotional moments because…well, these kids are all related to Bryan and I…and… we are competitive people.  But man, it’s fun to watch them play!

Bikes at the barn door, a sign of the summer and a picture that makes my heart feel happy.  I got to pepper today and play pickle ball in the barn with Bryan and the girls.  Ugh, I love sports so much!  Made my heart feel so full.

Love, Nancy

#celebr8awesome

#dorseyshenanigans